A Question Asked In A Talent Test:--If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters, How would You Recognize Your WIFE?
The Best Answer : Why the Hell Should I recognize ?Sardar Jokes
What happens when a Sardarni delivers twins?
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The Sardar does not sleep whole night, thinking who is the father of second child...
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The Sardar does not sleep whole night, thinking who is the father of second child...
Funny Jokes
Ladkiwale - Hame aisa Ladka chahiye jo Paan, Cigrette, Daru na leta ho....
Sirf Boiled Khana khae..... Din Raat Bhagwan ka Naam le......
Pandit - Aisa ladka to apko wo samane wale Leelavati Hospital ke ICU mein hee milega...
Sirf Boiled Khana khae..... Din Raat Bhagwan ka Naam le......
Pandit - Aisa ladka to apko wo samane wale Leelavati Hospital ke ICU mein hee milega...
Husband Wife Jokes
Wife : "Naari" Ka Matlab Kya Hai?
Husband : Naari Ka Matlab Hai Shakti.
Wife : To Phir Purush Ka Matlab Kya Hai?
Husband : 'Sahan Shakti'Funny Jokes
Ladke wale: Hamko Ladki Pasand He, Shadi Kab Karni He ?
Ladki wale : Abhi to Ladki study kar rahi hai,
Ladke wale: Ha to hamara ladka konsa chhota he jo books faad dega.....
Ladki wale : Abhi to Ladki study kar rahi hai,
Ladke wale: Ha to hamara ladka konsa chhota he jo books faad dega.....
Santa Banta Jokes
Banta : khade-khade chaabi se apna kaan khujla raha tha
Santa use gaur se dekhte hue bola - Banta bhai , aap start nahi ho rahe to dhakka Maru !!
Santa use gaur se dekhte hue bola - Banta bhai , aap start nahi ho rahe to dhakka Maru !!
Funny Jokes
My friend thinks he is smart !!
He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face !!
He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face !!
Blonde Jokes
There are three blondes who are on a road trip.
As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better.
The first blonde takes the radio and says, "If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music."
The second blonde decides to take a wheel, "In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled."
The third blonde takes the car door, "In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!"
As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better.
The first blonde takes the radio and says, "If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music."
The second blonde decides to take a wheel, "In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled."
The third blonde takes the car door, "In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!"
Husband Wife Jokes
Height of Embarrassment:
Man Sitting With his Wife in the Park
Another Lady Comes to his Wife and Says:
"Paise Pehly Le lena, ye admi Baad Mai Bahut Lafra Karta Hai.
Man Sitting With his Wife in the Park
Another Lady Comes to his Wife and Says:
"Paise Pehly Le lena, ye admi Baad Mai Bahut Lafra Karta Hai.
Happy Ganesh Chaturthi
Harida - Golden colored
Alampata - Infinite Lord
Ganapati - Lord of all Gods
Siddhidata - Giver of Success
Eshanputra - Son of Lord Shiva
Nideeshwaram - Bestower of Treasures & Riches
Avighna - Remover of all difciculties & obstacles
May Lord Ganesha in all His incarnations showers His finest blessings on you!
Happy Ganesh Chaturthi !!
Alampata - Infinite Lord
Ganapati - Lord of all Gods
Siddhidata - Giver of Success
Eshanputra - Son of Lord Shiva
Nideeshwaram - Bestower of Treasures & Riches
Avighna - Remover of all difciculties & obstacles
May Lord Ganesha in all His incarnations showers His finest blessings on you!
Happy Ganesh Chaturthi !!
Husband Wife Jokes
Doctor to Female : Kya aap delivery ke time baache ke pita ko apne paas dekhna chahenge?
Female : Nahi, unhe mere pati pasand nahi karte !!
Female : Nahi, unhe mere pati pasand nahi karte !!
Pappu Jokes
Teacher: How do you spell Czechoslovakia ?
Pappu: You never do that. You simply copy paste !!
Pappu: You never do that. You simply copy paste !!
Bollywood Jokes
Munna bhai: "Circuit, agar bus pe tu chade, ya fir tujpe bs chadJaye 2 kya hoga"!!
Circuit: "bole 2 bhai,dono baar ticket apani hi kategi."
Circuit: "bole 2 bhai,dono baar ticket apani hi kategi."
Marriage Jokes
Shadi mein dulhan ko ghungat mein kyu rakha jata hai ????
nai pata...
socho socho!!!!.
taki kisi k muh se ye na nikal jaye ki ?
abe ye to meri girl frnd thi.
nai pata...
socho socho!!!!.
taki kisi k muh se ye na nikal jaye ki ?
abe ye to meri girl frnd thi.
Husband Wife Jokes
Pati (phone par): Kaha Ho..?
Patni: Ghar mein..!
Pati: Acha agar Ghar mein ho, To mixi
chalao..!
Patni mixi chalati hai...
gar gar gar gar...
Pati: Acha theek hai..!
<<< Dusre Din >>>
Pati (phone par): Kaha Ho..?
Patni: Ghar mein..!
Pati: Acha agar Ghar mein ho, To mixi
chalao..!
Patni mixi chalati hai...
gar gar gar gar...
Pati: Acha theek hai..!
<<< Teesre Din >>>
Pati ghar pahuch jata hai..!
Pati (Naukrani Se): Maalkin kaha hai..?
Naukrani: Pata nahi sahab, bahut der
se kahi gayi hai..!
Lekin sahab... ek baat samajh nahi aayi, saath mein mixi kyu le gayi..?
Patni: Ghar mein..!
Pati: Acha agar Ghar mein ho, To mixi
chalao..!
Patni mixi chalati hai...
gar gar gar gar...
Pati: Acha theek hai..!
<<< Dusre Din >>>
Pati (phone par): Kaha Ho..?
Patni: Ghar mein..!
Pati: Acha agar Ghar mein ho, To mixi
chalao..!
Patni mixi chalati hai...
gar gar gar gar...
Pati: Acha theek hai..!
<<< Teesre Din >>>
Pati ghar pahuch jata hai..!
Pati (Naukrani Se): Maalkin kaha hai..?
Naukrani: Pata nahi sahab, bahut der
se kahi gayi hai..!
Lekin sahab... ek baat samajh nahi aayi, saath mein mixi kyu le gayi..?
SardarJokes
सरदार जी की माँ : पुत्तर तुझे यहाँ से जालंधर जाने में 1 दिन लगा और वापस आने में 3 दिन लगे , वो भी नयी कार से ऐसा क्यों ??
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सरदार जी : माँ ! ये कार बनाने वाले भी पागल हैं ! आगे जाने के लिए 4 गियर बनाये हैं , और वापस आने के लिए केवल 1 ही रिवर्स गियर बनाया है !
Husbanb Wife Jokes
Wife = 1/2 Husband
So 2 Wives = Husband
Also Wife = X Girlfriend
Therefore 2x Girlfriend = Husband
and so X = Husband/2 Girlfriends
So 2 Wives = Husband
Also Wife = X Girlfriend
Therefore 2x Girlfriend = Husband
and so X = Husband/2 Girlfriends
Sports Jokes
India's 3-1 defeat against England in Test Series 2014
Alia Bhatt: Mummy aur Everest Ko Test Team Mein Lena Chahiye.
Mahesh Bhatt: Kiski Mummy? Aur kaun Everest?
Alia Bhatt: Woh Bolte Hai Na, "Test Mein Best, Mummy Aur Everest"!
Alia Bhatt: Mummy aur Everest Ko Test Team Mein Lena Chahiye.
Mahesh Bhatt: Kiski Mummy? Aur kaun Everest?
Alia Bhatt: Woh Bolte Hai Na, "Test Mein Best, Mummy Aur Everest"!
Pinky Jokes
सहेली (पिंकी से): तेरे कमरे में हर तरफ कपड़े बिखरे पड़े हुए हैं, इन्हे अलमारी में क्यों नहीं रखती?
पिंकी (मायूस होकर): जिससे कपड़े माँगकर लाई हूँ उससे अलमारी मांगते शर्म आती है।
पिंकी (मायूस होकर): जिससे कपड़े माँगकर लाई हूँ उससे अलमारी मांगते शर्म आती है।
Hindi Shayari
Ek hi color ka dress pehen kar hum lagte they kitne achay,
School lagta tha poultry farm aur hum sab murghi k bachay,
Mujhko samaj na aya aj tak teacher ka ye funda,
Hume bana deti thi murgha or khud copy pe deti thi anda.
Jab bachpan tha , to jawani ek dream thi
Jab jawan huye , to bachpan ek jamaana tha.
jab ghar me rehte the, aazadi achi lagti thi ..
aaj aazadi he ,fir bhi ghar jaane ki jaldi rahti hai
School me jinke saath jhagadte the ,
aaj unko hi Internet pe talashte hai..
khushi kisme hoti hai, ye pata ab chala hai...
bachpan ya tha, iska ehsas ab hua hai..
kash badal sakte hum zindgi k kuch saal ..
kash ji sakte hum, zindgi fir se ek baar...
School lagta tha poultry farm aur hum sab murghi k bachay,
Mujhko samaj na aya aj tak teacher ka ye funda,
Hume bana deti thi murgha or khud copy pe deti thi anda.
Jab bachpan tha , to jawani ek dream thi
Jab jawan huye , to bachpan ek jamaana tha.
jab ghar me rehte the, aazadi achi lagti thi ..
aaj aazadi he ,fir bhi ghar jaane ki jaldi rahti hai
School me jinke saath jhagadte the ,
aaj unko hi Internet pe talashte hai..
khushi kisme hoti hai, ye pata ab chala hai...
bachpan ya tha, iska ehsas ab hua hai..
kash badal sakte hum zindgi k kuch saal ..
kash ji sakte hum, zindgi fir se ek baar...
Hindi Shayari
Ae barish zara thamke baras,
Jab mere yaar aa jaye to jamke baras,
Pehle na baras ki woh aa na sake,
Phir itna baras ki wo jaa na sake…
Jab mere yaar aa jaye to jamke baras,
Pehle na baras ki woh aa na sake,
Phir itna baras ki wo jaa na sake…
Hindi Shayari
Khamosh Chehre Par Hazaro Pehre Hote Hain,
Hasti Aankho Me Bhi Zakham Gehre Hote Hain
Jinse Aksar Rooth Jaate Hai Hum..
Asal Me Unse Hi Rishte Gehre Hote Hai.
Hasti Aankho Me Bhi Zakham Gehre Hote Hain
Jinse Aksar Rooth Jaate Hai Hum..
Asal Me Unse Hi Rishte Gehre Hote Hai.
Husband Wife Jokes
Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata
dekh patni ne pati se kaha – Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas
kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati – Namaste Sasur Ji
dekh patni ne pati se kaha – Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas
kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati – Namaste Sasur Ji
Pappu Jokes
Public Toilet me likha tha:
" Duniya Chand Par Pahunch Gayi Tu Yahin Baitha Hai ??"
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Pappu ne niche likh diya:
Bas Dho Ke Ja Raha Hu Waha Pani Nahi Hai…
" Duniya Chand Par Pahunch Gayi Tu Yahin Baitha Hai ??"
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Pappu ne niche likh diya:
Bas Dho Ke Ja Raha Hu Waha Pani Nahi Hai…
Santa Banta Jokes
Santa to Banta :
Agr tu bata de ki meri Tokri me kya hai toh tokri k aadhe Ande tere..
Aur ye bhi bata de ki Ande Kitne h… to 10 k 10 tere….
Aur agar ye Bhi bata de ki Ande Kiske h… to Murgi bhi teri….
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Banta : Abey koi HINT TO De…!
Agr tu bata de ki meri Tokri me kya hai toh tokri k aadhe Ande tere..
Aur ye bhi bata de ki Ande Kitne h… to 10 k 10 tere….
Aur agar ye Bhi bata de ki Ande Kiske h… to Murgi bhi teri….
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Banta : Abey koi HINT TO De…!
Pappu Jokes
Pappu ne JOB k 1st din, Computer pe 11 ghante guzare
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Boss khusi se: Good.. aaj kya kiya .??
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papu : Keyboard ki ABCD aage piche lagi thi wo sahi kar di…
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Boss khusi se: Good.. aaj kya kiya .??
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papu : Keyboard ki ABCD aage piche lagi thi wo sahi kar di…
Hindi shayari
खवाहिश नही मुझे मशहुर होने की।
आप मुझे पहचानते हो बस इतना ही काफी है।
अच्छे ने अच्छा और बुरे ने बुरा जाना मुझे।
क्यों की जीसकी जीतनी जरुरत थी उसने उतना ही पहचाना मुझे।
क्यों की जीसकी जीतनी जरुरत थी उसने उतना ही पहचाना मुझे।
ज़िन्दगी का फ़लसफ़ा भी कितना अजीब है,
शामें कटती नहीं, और साल गुज़रते चले जा रहे हैं....!!
शामें कटती नहीं, और साल गुज़रते चले जा रहे हैं....!!
एक अजीब सी दौड़ है ये ज़िन्दगी,
जीत जाओ तो कई अपने पीछे छूट जाते हैं,
और हार जाओ तो अपने ही पीछे छोड़ जाते हैं।.
जीत जाओ तो कई अपने पीछे छूट जाते हैं,
और हार जाओ तो अपने ही पीछे छोड़ जाते हैं।.
Sardar Jokes
Santa - muje zehar dena
Chemist - pehle Dr. Se lekhwa k lao.
Santa - apni shaadi ka card dikhata hu.
Chemist - bus kar bhai rulayega kya, badi bottle du ya chhoti wali ?
Chemist - pehle Dr. Se lekhwa k lao.
Santa - apni shaadi ka card dikhata hu.
Chemist - bus kar bhai rulayega kya, badi bottle du ya chhoti wali ?
Santa Banta Jokes
SANTA --> Apka kutta to sher jaisa dikhta hai kya khilate ho ise,..?
BANTA --> abe wo sher hi hai saala PYAAR-WYAAR k chakkar me kutte jaisa dikhne laga hai.
BANTA --> abe wo sher hi hai saala PYAAR-WYAAR k chakkar me kutte jaisa dikhne laga hai.
Positives in Negatives
A young woman was sitting at her dining table, worried about taxes to be paid, house-work to be done and to top it all, her family was coming over for Thanks giving the next day.
She was not feeling very thankful at that time.
As she turned her gaze sideways, she noticed her young daughter scribbling furiously into her notebook.
“My teacher asked us to write a paragraph on “Negative Thanks giving” for homework today.” said the daughter
“She asked us to write down things that we are thankful for, things that make us feel not so good in the beginning, but turn out to be good after all.”
With curiosity, the mother peeked into the book.
This is what her daughter wrote:
“I’m thankful for Final Exams, because that means school is almost over.
I’m thankful for bad-tasting medicine, because it helps me feel better.
I’m thankful for waking up to alarm clocks, because it means I’m still alive.”
It then dawned on the mother, that she had a lot of things to be thankful for!
She thought again…
She had to pay taxes but that meant she was fortunate to be employed.
She had house-work to do but that meant she had her own home to live in.
She had to cook for her family for Thanks giving but that meant she had a family with whom she could celebrate.
Moral:
We generally complain about the negative things in life but we fail to look at the positive side of it.
What is the positive in your negatives?
Look at the better part of life this day and make it a great day.
She was not feeling very thankful at that time.
As she turned her gaze sideways, she noticed her young daughter scribbling furiously into her notebook.
“My teacher asked us to write a paragraph on “Negative Thanks giving” for homework today.” said the daughter
“She asked us to write down things that we are thankful for, things that make us feel not so good in the beginning, but turn out to be good after all.”
With curiosity, the mother peeked into the book.
This is what her daughter wrote:
“I’m thankful for Final Exams, because that means school is almost over.
I’m thankful for bad-tasting medicine, because it helps me feel better.
I’m thankful for waking up to alarm clocks, because it means I’m still alive.”
It then dawned on the mother, that she had a lot of things to be thankful for!
She thought again…
She had to pay taxes but that meant she was fortunate to be employed.
She had house-work to do but that meant she had her own home to live in.
She had to cook for her family for Thanks giving but that meant she had a family with whom she could celebrate.
Moral:
We generally complain about the negative things in life but we fail to look at the positive side of it.
What is the positive in your negatives?
Look at the better part of life this day and make it a great day.
Doctor Jokes
Patient Doctor ko bola --> Doctor Sahab Mujhe Dur Ka Nazar Nahi ata hai..
Doctor na kaha -- > Wo Asmaan Par Kia Hai ?
Mareez --> wo Suraj hai
Doctor --> Aabay andhay is se duur kya khudha ko dekhaga !
Doctor na kaha -- > Wo Asmaan Par Kia Hai ?
Mareez --> wo Suraj hai
Doctor --> Aabay andhay is se duur kya khudha ko dekhaga !
Santa Banta Jokes
Teacher : Santa and Banta!why you reached school late today?
Santa : Madam, I lost a one rupee coin and I was searching for it.
Teacher : Banta, what about you?
Banta : Madam. .., I was not able to move ….because I was hiding that coin under my feet.
Santa : Madam, I lost a one rupee coin and I was searching for it.
Teacher : Banta, what about you?
Banta : Madam. .., I was not able to move ….because I was hiding that coin under my feet.
Smart Wife
Letter from husband ( who is abroad) to wife
Dear Sweetheart:
I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart
Your husband
Allen
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His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items……. ….
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don’t worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart
Anna
Dear Sweetheart:
I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart
Your husband
Allen
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His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items……. ….
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don’t worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart
Anna
Sardar Jokes
Ek din Santa jungle se gujar raha tha
Chudail ne use roka aur kaha : Ho ho ho Ha ha ha…Mein Chudail hu.
Sardar : Menu pata hai…kyunki teri ek behen mere Ghar pe hai !!
Chudail ne use roka aur kaha : Ho ho ho Ha ha ha…Mein Chudail hu.
Sardar : Menu pata hai…kyunki teri ek behen mere Ghar pe hai !!
Sardar Jokes
Ek sarder ne air-hostess se kaha, “Aapki shakal meri biwi se bahut milti hai”.
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi zordaar thappad uske muh pe mara…
Sardar foran bola : “Aadat bhi bahut milti hai”
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi zordaar thappad uske muh pe mara…
Sardar foran bola : “Aadat bhi bahut milti hai”
Santa Banta Jokes
Santa mango juice ka glaas le kar baitha tha
Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pee gaya.
Santa – Meri to yaar kismat hi kharab hai. Beta fail ho gaya, biwi dost ke saath bhag gayi, ghar me chori ho gayi, nalke me paani nahi, ghar me light nahi.
Aab juice me zehar daal ke peene ko rakha tha aur wo bhi tu pee gaya saale!
Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pee gaya.
Santa – Meri to yaar kismat hi kharab hai. Beta fail ho gaya, biwi dost ke saath bhag gayi, ghar me chori ho gayi, nalke me paani nahi, ghar me light nahi.
Aab juice me zehar daal ke peene ko rakha tha aur wo bhi tu pee gaya saale!
Santa Banta Jokes
Santa ko rota dekhkar Banta ne pucha kya hua?
Santa : Meine 2 ton ka AC kharida,
ghar aakar tola to sir 35 kilo ka nikla!
Santa : Meine 2 ton ka AC kharida,
ghar aakar tola to sir 35 kilo ka nikla!
Hindi Jokes
Maalik:-are raamu aaj tumne roti main kitna saare ghee laga diya.
Naukar:-are saahab maaf karna shayad galti se maine apni roti aapko de di hai,
Naukar:-are saahab maaf karna shayad galti se maine apni roti aapko de di hai,
Santa Banta Jokes
Teacher:-MotorCycle ke Kitne Tyers Hote hai?
Smart Santa:- 6 Tyre
Teacher (Gusse se): How?
Santa:- 4 Motor k 2 Cycle ke!
Smart Santa:- 6 Tyre
Teacher (Gusse se): How?
Santa:- 4 Motor k 2 Cycle ke!
Hindi Funny Jokes
Ek naye teacher ne ek bachche se poocha, "is pakshi ke pair dekho aur iska naam bata"
Bachche ne kaha, “pata nahin.”
Teacher ne kaha, "Tum fail ho gaye",
batao tumhara naam batao.
Bachche ne kaha “Mere pair dekho aur naam batao”.
Bachche ne kaha, “pata nahin.”
Teacher ne kaha, "Tum fail ho gaye",
batao tumhara naam batao.
Bachche ne kaha “Mere pair dekho aur naam batao”.
Hindi Jokes
Ek murgi market gayi, aur dukaandar se boli, “ek anda dena.”
Dukaandar bola, “sharm nahin aati, murgi hokar anda mangti ho.”
Murgi boli, “mere pati ne kaha hai ki 3 rupyee ke ande ke liye
apna figure kharab mat karo.”
Dukaandar bola, “sharm nahin aati, murgi hokar anda mangti ho.”
Murgi boli, “mere pati ne kaha hai ki 3 rupyee ke ande ke liye
apna figure kharab mat karo.”
Funny Jokes
MAA-Beta Apple Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Beta Mengo Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Beta Orange Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai,
Chappal Hi Khayega.
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Beta Mengo Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Beta Orange Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai,
Chappal Hi Khayega.
Funny Jokes
Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui?
Papa: Bewkuf teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li.
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui?
Papa: Bewkuf teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li.
Funnny Jokes
In Mumbai, a man is going to jump off the building.
Up rushes good Hindu cop to talk him down.
Cop yells up to the man "Don't jump! Think of your father"
Man replies "Haven't got a father; I'm going to jump."
The copy goes through a list of relatives, mother, brothers, sister, etc. Each time man says "haven't got one; going to jump."
Desperate the cop yells up "Don't jump! Think of Lord Krishna"
Man replies "Who is that?"
Cop yells "Jump, Muslim! You're blocking traffic!"
Up rushes good Hindu cop to talk him down.
Cop yells up to the man "Don't jump! Think of your father"
Man replies "Haven't got a father; I'm going to jump."
The copy goes through a list of relatives, mother, brothers, sister, etc. Each time man says "haven't got one; going to jump."
Desperate the cop yells up "Don't jump! Think of Lord Krishna"
Man replies "Who is that?"
Cop yells "Jump, Muslim! You're blocking traffic!"
Funny Jokes
Once there was a man that came from India to America, He couldnt speak English so he went to choir and learned how to say "Me me me me me me."
Then he went to the store and saw a little girl say "He stole my dolly"
And on his way home he went to get meat from the butcher and learned how to say "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then he went home and watched an air freshener commercial and learned how to say "Plug it in Plug it in."
Then he went to the store and there was a murder the police said "Who killed this man?"
The foreigner said "Me me me me me me me."
The police said "Why did you kill him?"
And the man said "He stole my dolly."
The police man said "What did you kill him with?"
The man said "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then they took him to jail and sentenced him to death.
The police man said "any last words?"
And the foreigner said "Plug it in plug it in."
Then he went to the store and saw a little girl say "He stole my dolly"
And on his way home he went to get meat from the butcher and learned how to say "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then he went home and watched an air freshener commercial and learned how to say "Plug it in Plug it in."
Then he went to the store and there was a murder the police said "Who killed this man?"
The foreigner said "Me me me me me me me."
The police said "Why did you kill him?"
And the man said "He stole my dolly."
The police man said "What did you kill him with?"
The man said "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then they took him to jail and sentenced him to death.
The police man said "any last words?"
And the foreigner said "Plug it in plug it in."
Office Jokes
One day two accountants, who were best friends, were walking together down the street.
One was a Hindu and constantly berated the other for eating meat!
After stopping for a hot dog, the Hindu erupted "Why do you eat meat?, Do you even know what's in that hot dog? You know, you are what you eat!"
The American replied "I am what I eat, an uncontrollable vicious animal (beating his chest)"
As they stepped off the curb a speeding car came around the corner and ran the Hindu over.
The American called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able.
The injured Hindu was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.
After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared.
He told the uninjured American, "I have good news, and I have bad news.
The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."
"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."
One was a Hindu and constantly berated the other for eating meat!
After stopping for a hot dog, the Hindu erupted "Why do you eat meat?, Do you even know what's in that hot dog? You know, you are what you eat!"
The American replied "I am what I eat, an uncontrollable vicious animal (beating his chest)"
As they stepped off the curb a speeding car came around the corner and ran the Hindu over.
The American called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able.
The injured Hindu was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.
After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared.
He told the uninjured American, "I have good news, and I have bad news.
The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."
"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."
Hindu Pizza
An American businessman goes to India on a business trip, but he hates Indian food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.
The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.
Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.
The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"
The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."
The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.
Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.
The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"
The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."
Currency Exchange
"A hindu man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 5000 rupees and walked out with $100.
The following week, he walked in with another 5000 rupees, and was handed $84.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The hindu man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
The following week, he walked in with another 5000 rupees, and was handed $84.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The hindu man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"